Welcome back to the Positivity Powerhouse Podcast!
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Got something special in this episode! It’s my first ever Listeners’ Questions Episode!
Welcome back to yet another episode of the Positivity Powerhouse Podcast, where I am the Positivity Powerhouse, and my name is Kriss. I’ll be your host today.
Well, I’ll be your host all the time, ‘cause it’s my podcast and I’ll do what I wanna!
Do what I wanna, do what I wanna.
No, it’s cry if I want to.
Well, I don’t want to cry, especially since I have some great questions from one of my listeners named Robin.
Now, Robin has had a major impact on my career as a mindset and motivation coach. She helped me come up with the title for my first book, which I’m currently writing. It’s called “Seventeen and a Half Ways to Self Care When You Don’t Care.”
All courtesy of Robin. She gave me that title, and I was like, “There it is! That’s it! That’s the one!”
Now, she sent me these questions some time ago, and, for that, I have to apologize that I didn’t get to them sooner. Life got in the way, and things got kind of messy, and a little bit lost.
I couldn’t even tell you WHEN she sent these questions. I went and looked through everything and couldn’t find a date on a blessed thing.
But, I do know that it was before- I’m pretty sure it was before all the pandemic things started happening. So, it was back in the normal “the world sucks” thing that was going on instead of the new “the world sucks and we’re all gonna die” stuff going on.
So, with that being said, here are FIVE questions from my good friend Robin about dealing with the world as it is.
So, her first question is about how to stop layering these feelings: depression, shame about depression, anger about shame and depression. How do you deal with that?
Well, one of the biggest things that I’ve learned, that I’ve had to learn how to do, is to forgive myself for not being able to get out of it whenever my mental health is in one of those places.
And my mental health goes to those places. It’s not always “The Postivity Powerhouse!” Sometimes it’s “The MANIC Powerhouse!” Sometimes it’s a “Super Depressed Powerhouse.”
Sometimes it’s the “Panic Attack Central Powerhouse!”
It’s not always sunshine and rainbows and, you know, ladybugs and whatever.
Sometimes, you know, depression will take me down to a dark place and there’s nothing I can do about it.
It just is what it is and I’ve gotta deal.
And the way I deal is by forgiving myself for not being able to drag myself back out of it, because I’ve come to realize that I just can’t. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I just can’t.
Once the forgiveness is there, it’s easier to change.
I really don’t like using the word “grace” because it has religious overtones, but give yourself some grace. Let it be OK that you’re depressed. Let it be OK that you’re ashamed. Let it be OK that you’re angry.
After all, you’re only human. I’m only human. We’re all only human!
Every one of us, and we all have those feelings.
And, you’re really gonna hate me for this, but it’s simple. It’s not easy, but it’s simple.
One of the messages on my wall that’s right over there behind the curtain, says, “It is only a thought, and a thought can be changed.”
Now, believe me, I know how hard that is to do when you’re in that depression, when you’re in the shame, when you’re in the anger, when you’re in the guilt trip, when you’re in the nightmare place, but it is doable.
Another message on my wall that’s right…there. No, yes! Right there! Hot pink one above the blue one. I have no idea if you can see what I’m pointing at, but there’s a hot pink one above a blue one there that says, “You can do hard things.”
Got that from a mentor named Christine. She is awesome.
Question two is about how to rise from the funk when you’re sick of platitudes and “positive” and “inspirational memes.”
Oh. My. God. Do I hate some positive and inspirational memes, and I’m the freaking positivity powerhouse!
And I. Freaking. Hate. Them. So. Much.
Because they simplify it, and they slap a coat of clear coat on it, and they gloss it up, and they throw some glitter on it, and I don’t even- I don’t know what these people are thinking.
But this one is both simple and easy, so you’re gonna like this one.
“Turn them off.”
Get off of Facebook. Get off of Instagram. Get off of social media. Get off the internet. Turn it all off!
OK, so maybe it’s not all that easy, because I know that your location-independent worker just like I am.
And I know I get most of my business from social media. My accountability group is on social media, my group where I nurture and love on people is on Facebook. My business connections that I’ve been making are on LinkedIn.
So, it’s not so easy to turn it off.
Unless it’s for your mental health.
I’ve gone months at a time without reading a single solitary thing on Facebook outside of messenger because negativity will get in my brain and it sits there and it festers and it grows and it makes me absolutely batshit crazy.
And, as you know, I am already crazy to begin with, so I don’t need any extra crazy coming along and taking up space in my brain.
There’s already too much crazy in there as it is (thank God for my therapist and my psychiatrist that are trying to, you know, whack it down some) but it’s still there and still grows back.
I don’t need extra crazy going on.
I still take Facebook breaks.
I take Insta-breaks.
I take Twitter breaks.
I take breaks from the internet, at large, outside of the tools that I need to do my job.
Other than that, it’s cut off.
Number three: I seriously cannot wrap my head around the notion of loving myself.
First off, let me start with banging the drum that I have been beating for the last few episodes that you are the most important person in your life.
Not your husband, not your family, not your favorite mindset and motivation coach, YOU.
You are the most important in your life.
The hint is that it is YOUR LIFE.
YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE, which makes YOU the most important person in your life.
Now, self care, self love is critical for mental health. It’s also a key factor in pursuing happiness, which is a fundamental human right.
Not just in the Declaration of Independence, but also in the UN Resolutions.
So, if you don’t like the DOI, you can go with the UN.
And, I did some research on this one, and Psychology Today has this to say about what self love actually is.
“Self love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation of one’s self that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.
“Self love is dynamic: it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses, as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our shortcomings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life’s purpose and values, and expert living fulfillment through our own efforts.”
Among the recommendations are those I would make to achieve self love: Mindfulness, living deliberately and intentionally, setting healthy boundaries, and self care.
I would recommend those to anybody, my clients, any of my friends, to anybody in my Facebook group, anybody who is going through anything mental health-ish or self care-ish. I would recommend those to anybody.
Even to people with just mental health, and not mental illness. Even mentally healthy people need to practice mindfulness, living deliberately and intentionally, setting healthy boundaries, and self care.
Next question: How do you find hope in a hopeless world?
Well, I’ve been watching The West Wing lately on Netflix, and there’s an episode where Leo McGarry is talking to AnnaBeth, who is his, I don’t know, assistant or groomer or whatever, about taking media questions.
And how when a reporter asks you a question, you don’t have to accept their premise. You can reject their premise and answer the question they didn’t ask the way that you want to be portrayed in the media.
So, my friend, I’ve got to reject your premise. This is not a hopeless world. It is absolutely not a hopeless world. It only seems that way sometimes and in some circumstances.
And, as a side note, you wouldn’t have asked this question if you didn’t have some hope of an answer.
So it’s not a hopeless world! You have hope that I have an answer! YAY!!
Fortunately, I have an answer!
So, this is a world where a 98-year-old girl scout has been selling cookies since 1932.
This is a world where EMTs who picked up a man who broke his hip while mowing his lawn, went back to his house to finish the job.
This is a world where a new search engine is reforesting the ocean floor, one search at a time.
Where a Zamboni driver is tapped as an emergency goalie and wins his first NHL game.
Where a pair of sisters not even in their teens yet can persuade Kellog to import all of their palm oil from sustainable sources.
Where scientists find a way to use proteins to create electricity out of thin air.
Seriously, I could keep going for hours.
Hours, and hours, and hours.
That’s how good I am at this!
There is always, always hope.
And, you know I hesitate to go there, because I’m pagan, and not my faith, but there is a lesson in the Parable of the Mustard Seed, that if you have faith as a mustard seed- as small as a mustard seed, you can move mountains.
If you have hope the size of a mustard seed, you, my friend, can move mountains.
Question five: How to stay informed and not go nuts about the state of the world?
Well, this one’s a little tougher because the state of the world is crazy.
It was crazy before the pandemic, it’s crazier during the pandemic, it’s still gonna be crazy after the pandemic. It’s just plain crazy.
And, believe me, I know because I’m crazy, too!
So, here’s a couple of websites to check out. This is the state of the world that I wanna know about.
The first one is today.com/news/good-news
This is gonna be in the transcript, it’s gonna be in the notes on my website once I get it up there. Today.com/news/good-news
The second one is goodnewsnetwork.org
Again, that’s goodnewsnetwork.org
You can pause me and rewind me if you need to, it’s fine.
I won’t get dizzy or anything, it’s OK.
But that’s the state of the world that I wanna know about. The good news. I wanted to learn about the good news.
If you absolutely must know about quote, unquote, “real news,” find a friend who is a news junkie and ask them to keep you up to date, but only about things you need to know about.
Every last stupid thing politicians say, probably not!
Congress declares war on Senegal? Definitely.
Where you draw the line is up to you.
I’ve got a friend like this, one of my caregivers. He is a news MANIAC.
He’s a news hound. He’s a political wonk. He loves political news and he can’t help telling me about it.
But, he’s limited to the stuff that could have an actual impact on my life.
Governor passed some healthcare for the poor? Absolutely! I need to know that ‘cause I am poor and so is my health and I am impacted by the decision.
The President wants to host the G8 summit somewhere it’s actually impossible to do so, and here are the thirty seven reasons why? Not so much! I don’t care where the President hosts the G8 summit. I don’t care IF the President hosts the G8 summit. And I CERTAINLY don’t care why or how it’s impossible. Thirty seven reasons is way too many, seventeen and a half reasons woud be fine.
But, not thirty seven. Way too much.
So, Robin, I hope I’ve answered your questions today. And, for other listeners out there, send me your questions. You can reach me at any of the contact methods in the outro that’s about the play once I stop talking and say, “That’s all for this episode. See ya next time!”
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See ya next time!